Cherish is the word I use....

Our family received a most wonderful gift last week...two Cherished Teddies collectables dressed in winter gear.

What the giver didn't realize, I'm sure, is that we have already started our Cherished Teddies collection and that they have without question raised the level of cherishing in the household exponentionally.

Prior to the arrival of Bianca and Nikki, Sara and Jacki and Karen had to be content with a family of only three, but now that the family has expanded to 5, it's as though the joy is a forcefield that encompasses the entire second floor of our home. You can positively feel the radiance as you look at the expressions on their adorable faces. Just look at the difference in these before and after photos:

The obligatory first day of school post

I did in fact shed a single tear when Old Baby got on the school bus, but I am actually relieved that she has something productive to do with her afternoons. I pray to God that New Baby will nap for the full stretch between 12:15 and 3:00.

What will I do with this free time...I think probably waste it blogging about what I should do with this free time.

My baby ate her own poop

My lovely sister came for a visit and we spent the week generally running around doing stuff. We were so busy that I neglected to notice that we were completely out of diapers for New Baby, so I ask my lovely sister to remind me as we are en route to a friends house that we need diapers...she does... I ignore the reminder thinking we'll stop once we get closer to our destination.

A few minutes later I hear from the back seat "Ah-kee, Ah-kee!"

I turn to find that New Baby has a chocolate beard and mustache, only I haven't given her any chocolate and she is also extending her index finger toward me, which is also covered in chocolate....I mean shit... Which is exactly what I say:

"Shit!"

My sister replies:

"We forgot to get diapers?"

I say:

"No, literally, shit. She is eating her poop."

I start to gag as I tend to do when confronted with the ingestion (by anyone) of feces.

My sister is laughing so hard she is swerving all over the road and is threatening to pee her pants, which would seem at this point seem to be downright hygenic.

Babies are gross.

When I am an old woman I will look like a huge dumbass

We happened upon this group of Red Hat Society ladies during a recent excursion and I had to surreptitiously take their picture so that I could mock them in this blog.

I get the idea behind it...being at the point in one's life where one can just throw all caution to the wind and enjoy one's self, ok, but do you have to throw all dignity to the wind as well? Why not just throw in some rubber noses and clown shoes? (The red espadrilles are close enough, I guess) It's not cute, it's not delightful, this is embarrassing for everyone.

If any of you reading this are considering becoming old soon and joining this herd, I caution you that I will find you and beat you to death with that stupid red hat.

Baby talk

I feel that I have written so much about Old Baby, and really neglected New Baby, so I thought I would catch you all up to date on her verbal development.

"Nuk"= Milk

"Nack"= Snack

"Shoe"=Shoe

"Bi-boe"= Diaper (indicating the need for a change)

"Ah-kee"=Yucky (indicating the presence of a poop in her diaper, she usually says this simultaneously with the insertion of a finger into her diaper so that we can all witness the ah-kee-ness)

"Daddy"=Daddy, or Mommy. When I encourage the use of the word "Mommy" she shakes her head and says "No"

"No"=No, or Yes, watch for whether the head is shaking side to side or nodding up and down.

"Tee-ta"=Kitty cat, or Dog

"Meow"=what every animal in the world says.

Surprisingly, we understand one another just fine.

Bedtime stories

After watching a ghost movie ( Disney's Haunted Mansion, I think?) with her dad this evening, Old Baby was understandably upset at the notion of going to bed by herself what with all the ghosts she might encounter...so I laid down with her and we had a lovely chat. I will now recount verbatim what was said:

OB: "I am afraid of being dead"

Me: "Oh, honey, you don't need to be afraid, because when that happens a long time from now, it will just mean that everything is ok with you-nothing will be hurting you or making you sick...you'll be perfectly happy, it's just the people that are still alive that remember you who will be sad."

OB: "But how long do I have to stay in the graveyard?"

Me:"Well, after your body dies it gets buried, or cremated, but the part of you that is you...inside...um...the part that makes you who you are...uh, your soul, well, that doesn't have to stay in the graveyard, it just goes on living somewhere in the universe and everything is ok for you"

OB:"What part inside? Like if I cut my arm off?"

Me: "No, the part of you...well, it's not a part of you like an arm, it's invisible, it's the spirit part that makes you who you are...but you can't see it"

OB: "So am I going to live forever?"

Me: "Kind of, but not like you live here now, because you have a body and people can see you and you have to stay in your body, but when you die you don't have a body anymore so you can be everywhere."

OB: "So when I die, can I see myself?"

Me: "Your body?"

OB: "No, the invisible part inside."

(...and with that I was really stumped. I would guess no, because a.) you don't have a material body to see and b.) even if you could you wouldn't have any eyes to see yourself with...but what the hell do I know?)

Me: "I'm not sure, I don't think so, maybe."

OB: "So was I dead before I was born?"

(Good question, right? Was she dead before she was born? Did she not exist at all? Why is she asking me these questions? Who in the hell is this kid?)

Me: "Hmmm...not sure...O.k.... well, it's time to go to sleep, I love you, goodnight!"

Did you know?

I learned something from Old Baby this morning:

"Mom, it hurts a little in my throat when I swallow...the Frog Purter came last night while I was sleeping and purt (put) a frog in there, and that's why it hurts."

Also:

"I think these little bumps in the medicine came from the plant that they have next door, it's a medicine plant and they chopped it up and put it in the red stuff and that's why it makes me feel all better."

I'm definitely thinking medical school for this child.

I have more and more respect for the worker bees

You all may or may not know that in my previous life I worked as a project manager overseeing the rehab of many a home. It was my main duty to make sure things got done quickly, and cheaply, and correctly. This last part rarely happened (due to the "cheaply" part of the equation), which would prompt me to chastise those doing shoddy work, often while shaking my head in disbelief.

Now that I am working at the rehab of my own home without benefit of large numbers of immigrants to do the actual labor, I am coming to understand exactly why their standards tended to be lower than my own. This shit is exhausting!

This evening I did a test run on the old skim coating technique, and I have come to one conclusion: it is infinitely more difficult than I had imagined. It doesn't really take a great deal of skill, but apparently it requires more patience that I have at my disposal because I will need to apply this joint compound one molecular layer at a time or else it bubbles and does other strange things. At the rate I am proceeding, my bathroom will be finished at never o' clock.

Presents are super

This is my birthday week, and I have recieved many special gifts, but 2 really stand out: one is from my husband, and one is from my cat-see if you can tell which is which.