Friday, June 27, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Talent Extravaganza!
This afternoon Old Baby was telling me all about her plans to put on a talent show in the back yard with the girl next door. The scheduled events are as follows:
Doing Circus tricks
Dancing
Making music
Learning how to cook
Swimming
Sending Postcards
Garage Sale (my personal favorite talent category)
***Happy Solstice Everybody**
Doing Circus tricks
Dancing
Making music
Learning how to cook
Swimming
Sending Postcards
Garage Sale (my personal favorite talent category)
***Happy Solstice Everybody**
Friday, June 20, 2008
Teething is hell
For the past 36 hours, New Baby has done little else but scream bloody murder. This, I assume, because she has two brand new teeth coming in.This constant auditory barrage is making me nervous and exhausted.
Old Baby, jealous of the attention her sister commands, has done little else but whine...as I write this she is writhing on the floor whining "mama, mama....mommy...mommy...mama"...and this has the odd effect of making me not so thrilled to be her mommy.
The cherry on top, however, is the PMS I'm currently experiencing, and I have considered running away from home and leaving these two to their own devices...but I won't.
Instead, I just spent a fortune on dietary supplements for myself, and I just know that this time the vitamins and minerals will rush to my brain and solve all my problems by making me happier, healthier and completely capable of doing everything exactly right-this won't be like the last time I spent a fortune on supplements and found myself throwing 90% of them away years past their expiration date vowing never to do that again.
Old Baby, jealous of the attention her sister commands, has done little else but whine...as I write this she is writhing on the floor whining "mama, mama....mommy...mommy...mama"...and this has the odd effect of making me not so thrilled to be her mommy.
The cherry on top, however, is the PMS I'm currently experiencing, and I have considered running away from home and leaving these two to their own devices...but I won't.
Instead, I just spent a fortune on dietary supplements for myself, and I just know that this time the vitamins and minerals will rush to my brain and solve all my problems by making me happier, healthier and completely capable of doing everything exactly right-this won't be like the last time I spent a fortune on supplements and found myself throwing 90% of them away years past their expiration date vowing never to do that again.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Dream
I had this dream the other night:
I was in the home of a former design client for some type of holiday or celebratory meal. He leans over to me and tells me conspiratorially that he is Jewish even though everyone thinks he's Irish.
At this point one of his young children is thought to be missing, and so everyone leaves the table and goes on the search except for me and I realize that I am drinking a large cardboard container of whipping cream (heavy). I am mortified to be in the process such a faux pas, and so quickly check the label on the back of the carton, and I find the periodic table listed there and somehow I am reassured that this is NOT whipping cream but 2% milk, so I'm not embarrassed anymore.
When everyone returns to the table I notice that in lieu of bread with dinner, this family serves pancakes, and I am spreading mayonnaise on mine-but it keeps melting and disappearing and so I keep spreading it thicker and thicker, and one of this man's aunts leans over to speak with me, but I don't want her to know I am putting mayo on my pancake...
...and then I woke up.
I found a dream interpretation website which tells me this:
To see or eat cream in your dream, indicates that you appreciate the minor and sweet things in life. It is symbolic of nurturance and richness.
To dream that you are drinking milk, signifies domestic bliss and inner nourishment. It may also imply your need to strengthen your ties and relationships with others.
To make or eat pancakes in your dream, represents gratification and pleasure in your current situation. It may also mean that take pleasure and comfort in your work.
To see or eat mayonnaise in your dream, represents disappointment in your waking life. It also indicates the occurrence of insults and disrespect in some situation or relationship.
There was nothing I could find that would indicate what secretly jewish dinner hosts might say about my mental and emotional well being.
I was in the home of a former design client for some type of holiday or celebratory meal. He leans over to me and tells me conspiratorially that he is Jewish even though everyone thinks he's Irish.
At this point one of his young children is thought to be missing, and so everyone leaves the table and goes on the search except for me and I realize that I am drinking a large cardboard container of whipping cream (heavy). I am mortified to be in the process such a faux pas, and so quickly check the label on the back of the carton, and I find the periodic table listed there and somehow I am reassured that this is NOT whipping cream but 2% milk, so I'm not embarrassed anymore.
When everyone returns to the table I notice that in lieu of bread with dinner, this family serves pancakes, and I am spreading mayonnaise on mine-but it keeps melting and disappearing and so I keep spreading it thicker and thicker, and one of this man's aunts leans over to speak with me, but I don't want her to know I am putting mayo on my pancake...
...and then I woke up.
I found a dream interpretation website which tells me this:
To see or eat cream in your dream, indicates that you appreciate the minor and sweet things in life. It is symbolic of nurturance and richness.
To dream that you are drinking milk, signifies domestic bliss and inner nourishment. It may also imply your need to strengthen your ties and relationships with others.
To make or eat pancakes in your dream, represents gratification and pleasure in your current situation. It may also mean that take pleasure and comfort in your work.
To see or eat mayonnaise in your dream, represents disappointment in your waking life. It also indicates the occurrence of insults and disrespect in some situation or relationship.
There was nothing I could find that would indicate what secretly jewish dinner hosts might say about my mental and emotional well being.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
I love our neighborhood
Our next door neighbors had a cookout for Father's Day, and several families from the neighborhood came with their children. I literally had to bite my lip at one point to keep from gushing; "This is so cool! I love you guys! I am so happy that we moved here!" Partly because I felt that would seem strangely emotional for a barbeque and because I am guessing that it's fairly normal for many neighbors to spend time with one another, and also because I had drunk enough wine by that point that I wasn't sure how I would feel about it in the morning.
Now that a couple days have passed I can say with some certainty that I do indeed feel that way. After 5 years in our last home, I never felt this type of community with the people I lived next to. Of course, we were civil and waved hello, etc., but the general feeling was that we just happened to share space near one another and that was no reason to be friends or anything.
I feel generally less stressed since we've moved-not sure why exactly- but it feels like time has slowed down to a more reasonable pace. There is less noise here, less artificial light, less traffic. People smile at me and say "hi" when we pass on the street. Our mail carrier stops to chat. We leave our doors open most of the time.
Old Baby and the girl next door just sort of drift back and forth between yards and our two houses and their meals are eaten wherever they happen to be at the moment (if they time it right, sometimes dessert happens twice). Instead of calling on the phone, my neighbor literally sticks her head in our door if she has something to say to me.
Where in the world did we move...Maybury?
Now that a couple days have passed I can say with some certainty that I do indeed feel that way. After 5 years in our last home, I never felt this type of community with the people I lived next to. Of course, we were civil and waved hello, etc., but the general feeling was that we just happened to share space near one another and that was no reason to be friends or anything.
I feel generally less stressed since we've moved-not sure why exactly- but it feels like time has slowed down to a more reasonable pace. There is less noise here, less artificial light, less traffic. People smile at me and say "hi" when we pass on the street. Our mail carrier stops to chat. We leave our doors open most of the time.
Old Baby and the girl next door just sort of drift back and forth between yards and our two houses and their meals are eaten wherever they happen to be at the moment (if they time it right, sometimes dessert happens twice). Instead of calling on the phone, my neighbor literally sticks her head in our door if she has something to say to me.
Where in the world did we move...Maybury?
This is why people hire professionals
I have been scraping paint and sanding woodwork and patching plaster and inhaling lead and sweeping up dust for a month now and I am now officially able to start painting the girls bedroom...and my back is crooked and my elbow hurts and my hands are scabbed and bloody; at this point I would be willing to pay any amount of money to just have it over with.
Good thing I have no money or someone might take advantage of me.
I was kidding about the bloody hands part.
Good thing I have no money or someone might take advantage of me.
I was kidding about the bloody hands part.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Our latest former friend
Meet Sarah.
Old Baby picked her out of a tank at the supermarket after a great many minutes of examination and discussion. We bagged Sarah up and brought her home to live in our refrigerator for a couple of hours. She loved frolicking amongst the produce and dairy during our brief relationship and thus I didn't feel that bad when B forced her into a pot of boiling water.
Old Baby was thrilled to have a pet that could also be dinner...
New Baby, obviously the less sadistic of my two offspring, seemed unhappy to see Sarah in this condition.
We enjoyed Sarah thoroughly, with the exception of a small portion of her tail which accidentally became contaminated with lobster shit, which tasted exactly like what you might think it tastes like.
And then we had ice cream. Amen.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Saturday, June 7, 2008
ugh
It is approximately 1000 degrees right now.
It's so humid everything feels spongy and sticky and the ants are making inroads into our dining room and kitchen despite my best efforts to eliminate the tasty morsels my children tend to leave scattered about the floor....so I fear opening the windows and making it easier for them, and it's hotter and more humid with the windows open anyway. The most comfortable place to be right now is the basement, but that is too horrorshow what with cobwebs, etc.
Did I mention that we now live in Spidertown? I'll have to start photo documenting how many I find in any given day- when I enter the bathroom every night to brush my teeth it isn't a question of whether or not there will be a spider waiting for me, it's a question of where and how many. There is also some type of freakishly huge tarantula type beast that has taken up residence in the vicinity of our trash can and waits for me...this reminds me of when I was a kid and there was another freakishly huge spider that used to wait for me at the bottom of the basement stairs for me. No one believed me-for months I tried to tell my mom and sister why I just couldn't go down there and this was met with a "yeah, right" until the damned thing died and left it's leggy remains where it used to lie in wait for me and I could definitively prove that I was neither hallucinating nor was I lying...at any rate I'm a bit surprised by the sheer number and variety of arachnids in the area around our home.
Oh, I forgot the part about taking New Baby to her sandbox today and finding the lid COVERED in some daddy long leg things. Are they nesting there? Is that possible?
It's so humid everything feels spongy and sticky and the ants are making inroads into our dining room and kitchen despite my best efforts to eliminate the tasty morsels my children tend to leave scattered about the floor....so I fear opening the windows and making it easier for them, and it's hotter and more humid with the windows open anyway. The most comfortable place to be right now is the basement, but that is too horrorshow what with cobwebs, etc.
Did I mention that we now live in Spidertown? I'll have to start photo documenting how many I find in any given day- when I enter the bathroom every night to brush my teeth it isn't a question of whether or not there will be a spider waiting for me, it's a question of where and how many. There is also some type of freakishly huge tarantula type beast that has taken up residence in the vicinity of our trash can and waits for me...this reminds me of when I was a kid and there was another freakishly huge spider that used to wait for me at the bottom of the basement stairs for me. No one believed me-for months I tried to tell my mom and sister why I just couldn't go down there and this was met with a "yeah, right" until the damned thing died and left it's leggy remains where it used to lie in wait for me and I could definitively prove that I was neither hallucinating nor was I lying...at any rate I'm a bit surprised by the sheer number and variety of arachnids in the area around our home.
Oh, I forgot the part about taking New Baby to her sandbox today and finding the lid COVERED in some daddy long leg things. Are they nesting there? Is that possible?
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Kleptobinky
This is what my youngest child stole from KB toys earlier today-just slipped it right in the bag while no one was watching-I was about to write about theft but just noticed how much this looks like a long thin brown penis and now I am too busy laughing...06.08.08-UPDATE: for those of you (mom) who inquired as to what exactly this is, it seems to be a bullwhip- flavored chinese yo-yo ( I don't even know if that's what I mean to say....what in the hell is a chinese yo-yo? I Googled it and got something else entirely), or maybe it's supposed to be lariat-y chinese yo-yo...actually it's certainly supposed to be a lariat...I need to sleep now, I just spelled "actually" with a k.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Old Baby makes a funny
Yesterday in the car:
Old Baby:"Mom, do you know what this car needs?"
Me: "No, what does it need?"
Old Baby: "A f(unintelligible)"
Me: "What?"
Old Baby: "A f(unintelligible)"
Me: "What?"
Old Baby: " A fart... but it's ok, I already gave it one"
Old Baby:"Mom, do you know what this car needs?"
Me: "No, what does it need?"
Old Baby: "A f(unintelligible)"
Me: "What?"
Old Baby: "A f(unintelligible)"
Me: "What?"
Old Baby: " A fart... but it's ok, I already gave it one"
Hello Again
I had given up this blog months ago when I realized that I was boring myself with the endless rants, but as the family has moved far far away from everyone we know and love I think this is a good time to start 'er up again to keep everyone informed about the minutiae of our daily life.
A quick update: We now reside in New England. We bought an old and gorgeous house that needs endless work and limitless love. Big Papa has a new job. Old Baby is almost 5 and New Baby is really not so new anymore at 17 months. Our new town is small. I am homesick for the big city and all my friends. I am trying to channel all of my mixed emotions into home improvement.
Here are a few things that are different here:
Shopping carts are called "carriages"
Dinner is called "suppah"
There are hills.
There is no sales tax on groceries.
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